Today was an absolutely astounding day.
I had a job interview. I applied for the position months ago. I figured it would be just like the others; I'd get a letter in the mail thanking me for my application, but would not be offered an interview. As I enjoyed a lovely Friday evening at the Holiday Show (my choir performed there), I checked my cell to see not 1, not 2, but THREE missed calls from Nowhere. Nothing else is in that city, so I dashed to check my voicemail and sure enough, I was offered an interview. They wanted to see me on Monday. 3 days!!!! I work on the weekends and this would be the weekend where I worked both days. I had no time to prepare, but a lot that had to be done. I haven't been on an interview in years; I own no suits & didn't have any suit funds. To make matters worse, I had to do a teaching demo, but had no clarity as to the teaching environment and the supplies I would have at the location. Yikes.
Needless to say, that didn't go over too well internally.
After hashing it out with members of my fam & a few close buds, I'd decided on a plan of action. Finally getting the plan in motion, an "angel in disguise" showed up in the form of a colleague. Because I've never had an interview for a position directly in my field (and few musicians do), it was assuring to have my colleague give me the ins and outs of the interview.
Monday is here.
Rise and shine super early because I have jitters like most of us tend to get when an exciting event approaches. I fix my documents to be printed. An hour & a half later (and 30 mins behind schedule), frazzled, and out of a grip of money due to roadblocks,I am en route to the interview. God really stepped in because I was actually 30 mins. early despite getting lost.
Speeding forward, I feel that the interview went well. The teaching demo was a blast. Now, we wait to see if I fit the bill of what they are looking for.
I say all of this to say that God has me. He has to, because I have no idea what I am doing. I don't recall having ever felt such...blankness. 3 weeks ago, you could have asked me where I saw myself in 6 months & I had a definitive answer. I had love. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel that is Greenville. I was finally seeing my career grow. There was a clear vision. In a matter of days, everything that I knew to be true was no longer. That clear vision has been replaced by what seems like a muddy, indiscernible mess. I'm a blank slate. What a scary feeling to not know where I will be, let alone if I even really want to be wherever I'll be. Looking for direction...looking for a flicker of light...looking for what's next in my journey.
I have no idea.
I just have to trust that He will reveal these things to me. Soon.